I know a guy

 Is the replace not repair big store anonymous employees world we live a good model for us as a culture? Yes, prices are low, the selection is immense, & convenience is king. What of the minimized or entirely missed opportunities to make and grow personal connections, to learn about others?

I grew up in the “I know a guy” family. You repaired your car; changed your oil. You went to see Duck at the autoparts store. He did body work on the side too. If you needed something welded, you went Sipple’s. You went to Silverglade’s for cheese and Bolte’s for coffee and exotic spices. No, it was not always quick, yet it became a bit of an adventure in itself. If these guys didn’t have it, they “knew a guy” who would. If you needed if fast, well more adventure ensued as you set off to find what you needed.

Geniuses replace our electronics. Store get bigger and buy other stores. Or we avoid stores and order online. Again, I get it, low price, selection, and convenience. Where is the adventure? The stores I mentioned above were frequented monthly and often weekly. We knew who worked there. I learned of their families, their challenges, and could even get inspired. Jim, of Bolte’s, had a Solidarność, Polish trade union, connection. He told stories and handed out buttons. Who doesn’t love a rebellion against oppression story? Loosely put, we were collaborators. They gave us items we needed which we used for our families. We then went on to create our own stories.

Connections are messy, yet a good story though entertains forever. What do you value? In a world of fake news, comic book adaptations, sequels, reboots, we need our own adventures to tell. Can’t repair your own phone, prepare your own food. Frustrated by personal and public transport, design a better option. Youtube videos all the same, create a better one. Don’t own any quality tools, get to Sears before they go bankrupt.  Be a flexible problem solver. I understand; life is hard, money needs to stretch, convenience trumps most everything, and we all feel entitled. My point, take action. Get out there, whether real or virtual, connect and collaborate.  Create your own stories, learn more about yourself, and make new acquaintances. More important, tell your stories, entertain and inspire others. Be “the guy” others know and call when they need help.


Friends & Friendship Reloaded

I have wrestled with the concept of friendship and what effect the Internet has upon it for some time. Are our virtual friends any less real? Can you really know someone you never met ? How does a virtual friend get you out of jail? -thoughtful pause- Eventually, I came to realize that long before the Internet, we quantified our friends, best, good, old, etc. To me, what is so intriguing and perplexing about virtual friends is they represent an entirely new category while adding new depth and dimensions to existing categories. Yes, some new friends may exist only in the virtual, but existing friends can leverage technology to be more inclusive and collaborative in our lives.

Best friends are those who I will  travel to the ends of the earth for. These friends span many continents and exist both the physically and virtually. We are users of technology, yet are not only bound by technology. They are my most trusted advisors. Good friends, like best friends, I share a bond with. No, not an end of the earth bond, but one critical to my well being none the less. Currently,  I am blessed with a great group. They are my go to friends when I need something tweaked, feedback, or a little crowd sourcing. I have not met them all, but I know I can count on them. Occasional friends are my friends with a speciality. A unique bond exists between us, yet it usually centers around one particular aspect or interest. I usually want more from these friends, but there is never enough time to move beyond their speciality. Online friends are the individuals I encountered along my journey. We share something in common and it is often largely superficial.  Online friends may become more, but generally we are happy with the demands to maintain our online friendship, updates in fragmented pieces. Old friends drift across our paths sporadically.They used to rank among our best and good friends. We still love them dearly and will go to great lengths to keep them. Could be friends are my biggest regret. There is something happening around them that I want to be part of, but my life keeps interrupting. To me, they are a product and a causality of technology. I hold a lot of them yet we can never move beyond the online.

Friendships take time. They are complicated and often painful. Uncertainly and doubt plagues them from time to time. Without care, maintenance or new ones, it becomes difficult to define ourselves. Who are we without friends? Technology can fast track new friendships, preserve existing ones, and work to the detriment of others. As life fundamentally changes, we must use technology to get to know people we have never met in person. No, technology may never be able to satisfy that in person desire, still  do not let it prevent you from making virtual friends. And in any online adventure, keep your common sense handy. If someone seems to good to be true, they probably probably are not your friend.